from collectibles to recollections

this morning the air is thick and heavy with moisture. occasionally, a cool breeze slips through the grey cloud cover and makes it way through my window. that was really what got me up - not the fact that i have to work today, or the chiro appt that i have before work. it felt like a fever; hot and damp and then cool and shivering.

i have a feeling it will soon break and the rain will come.

i have started to go through my things and determine what i should sell, donate or simply get rid of. i thoroughly believe that one woman's trash (or clutter that needs to be gone) is another woman or man's glorious find (or something they could tolerate having in their own collection). cds are stacked up, movies and even some books. if i list some items here, perhaps one or two of them will be something you would like to have. for those that i know, i would love to give it to you.

but, as for the collection of 'little rascal' episodes on vhs - those i will be keeping. in fact, as i write this, it hits me that i dreamt about lisa last night. she had that sparkle in her eye like she always did but her body was how i remembered it, ravaged by a disease called cancer. melissa, ezra was also there and lisa met him, talked to him and im sure made a comment about how much he resembles you. she may have even told the story about how you got lost on the beach that one summer day and how frantic she was to find you. and that ezra had better learn from his mother's experience; said with a smile and that laugh that we all loved and distinguished her from all others.

i dont really think she said all that in my dream, but she was there. my mind made up the rest and right now, my lucidity tells me that she would have said those things had she lived to see ezra. lisa is gone for now, asleep in death, but she would have loved to meet your son. i hope one day she will - in the world that is yet to come.