last night i was fully awake. so awake after midnight that i got up, watched some dave letterman and paced my small apartment for awhile. ive heard that you should never just stay in bed when you are having trouble sleeping; that getting up for a time helps. in my case, it didnt seem to make a difference.
really, it only made me even more aware of how empty my apartment is becoming. earlier that evening, i took most of the knick-knacks off the entertainment shelf; its easy to dismantle while watching alias. i removed the nails that held my pictures to the wall and stacked them with care in cardboard, next to the random sheet for cushioning. the walls are nearly bare. the fridge is devoid of magnets - only the bottle opener remains. the counters are loaded with stacked boxes, all marked fragile, all marked careful.
for a few minutes, maybe more, i watched one mosquito, then two, land and hover around my screened window. i flicked them off into the night to go harrass something they could actually bite. i listened for the whippoorwill that has recently arrived back in the neighborhood, but i only heard frogs and crickets, making no attempt to sing in unison. i stared at the ceiling. i made mental lists of things i have to put back to apartment standard before leaving. i thought about the house i would be living in soon, wondering whether i would be nervous without the sounds i am used to hearing, here in my bed in #311.
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