an old life..

why is it hard to pick up again with old friends, ones you perhaps have not seen in years? i dont think i ever meant to stop the friendship and well, is it really one person's fault if it does? what is the point of "catching up"? is it to hang out again, to talk again on the phone? or does it sooth us in some way to know we reached out, even if its just a few emails or phone calls?

i guess its hard for me to reacquaint myself with a person who's been close by all along and didnt stay in contact. im not saying i really cared either, or i would have been the one making the phone calls or visits. i know people do grow apart. and i know we cant have an in-depth relationship with each person who's sparked something within us.

what i would like is to go past those old relationships, into something new. to see if that person is really the same way my memories recall, or maybe even a better one. perhaps giving new life to an old friendship is not anything of which to be afraid.

as for me, know me for who i am now. its the only true thing; forget the recollections.