im not sure, but i think he was teary-eyed when i turned the camera on him all those years ago. he answered my question about the waterfall we were looking at, and then mentioned how cold it was. he looked at the camera, but he was looking at me. i remember that look. i wonder now what he was thinking.

ive thought recently that he still looks the same as the day i met him, now seven years ago. but seeing this video made me realize how young we were then; he looks energetic and sweet, i seem aloof but hopeful. and both of us silly and happy.

a few months after this video, i was heartbroken and he was too, but not because of me. or maybe it was because of me. i regret that nearly as much as i do my own pain; it hurts now to think of how i was, and how he was, both so sad, but him trying to make it up to me in anyway he knew how. and me, too numb to think about him.

now, today, i would like to just smile at our images, and feel no sorrow. im not sure ill ever forget, but i can choose not to remember.

at least for today.