feb 1994

lying in bed last night, listening to the owls hooting back and forth, i still couldnt believe that i had forgotten what had actually happened. but there it was, a clipping from the newspaper, early 1994. and i very nearly missed it too; there in the front of the falling apart journal, i didnt see it until i had finished reading all the other entries from around that time period.

it started on the way home and, really, with a song that reminded me of that year. and then i started to wonder what had become of him and like i often do these days, i wanted to remember. i located the yearbook from 1993 and then i trudged upstairs to pull out the stack of journals from their hiding spot under old high school trophies and music magazines.

of course, one gets sidetracked when looking through old writings - i couldnt help but read the entry that started with, 'JK is now my bro-in-law.' and then of course had to read the one only, what, a few pages away, 'JK is no longer my bro-in-law.' its funny, because when i found the entries i was looking for, i had written my reason for recording them - i wanted to remember. my old voice echoed nearly exactly what i had been thinking on the drive home.

everything came back as i read those two pages or so, and then the entries about him stopped. thats only natural since he had graduated and apparently, according the newspaper clipping, had joined the armed forces.

yes, the newspaper clipping. they were looking for him then, awol from the army or navy or whatever and wanted for attempted murder of his step mother. she lived, at least, to call for help and was alive last i knew. he stole her cash and had a stolen vehicle waiting outside for him.

i wish i knew what happened later - did she live? was he caught? is he in jail? and how exactly, does one turn into a killer? to me, he was just a kid from school; he had a more priveleged life than some living in his area and he was smart and funny.

oh yeah, ive just remembered. he could really make me laugh.