i thought, as i walked this morning, that the air smelled fresh and woodsy, somehow, and reminded me utterly of ft. wilderness. of course, camping always came in late november, but today was a perfect mimic of some of the best days ive had there. this year there will not be a trip.
its dark and i sit in the rocking chair on the porch, realizing the implications of the phone conversation i just ended. it always amazes me how easy it is to call to the surface the hurts that you think you've buried deep enough to forget about. remembered bits - confrontations, emails, conversations - float up and i immediately push them aside. what good would it do to think about that now, years later?
and now, i feel like the sad teenager i used to be and not the adult i am. the bed is soft, the room is pitch black and the same song is on repeat. and i cant help grieving all over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment